Who are your friends? Look around you and think about who they are and what kind of influence they have on your life. Friends play such a major role in your life whether you're aware of it or not, especially right now in your teenage years. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it could be a bad thing if your friends are influencing you and encouraging you towards negative behaviors.
A not so great friend will get you into things that might cause you a lot of trouble. This will spiral into things that you can not control, which will then bring about negative thoughts.
Here are some points that can help you identify good friends from not so great friends:
- Good friends keep secrets instead of gossiping what you just told them.
- Good friends listen to you instead of constantly talking about themselves.
- Good friends are not constantly after your lunch money or only come to you when they need a ride home.
- Good friends are always there to encourage you and help you get through tough times.
- Good friends are nonjudgmental.
- Good friends don't try to buy your friendship with expensive gifts.
- Good friends still accept you when you say "no" to them.
- Good friends don't get jealous of you when something good happens in your life.
A good friend can pull you away from not only bad decisions, but they can also pull you away from a negative state of mind. A good friend gets you out of the funk that you might be in. They are there to listen to you when you need them and give you comforting words.
Here is a beautiful hadith that tells us more about good friends versus bad friends:
Narrated Abu Musa: Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "The example of a good companion (who sits with you) in comparison with a bad one, is like that of the musk seller and the blacksmith's bellows (or furnace); from the first you would either buy musk or enjoy its good smell while the bellows would either burn your clothes or your house, or you get a bad nasty smell thereof."
حَدَّثَنِي مُوسَى بْنُ إِسْمَاعِيلَ، حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ الْوَاحِدِ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بُرْدَةَ بْنُ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، قَالَ سَمِعْتُ أَبَا بُرْدَةَ بْنَ أَبِي مُوسَى، عَنْ أَبِيهِ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم " مَثَلُ الْجَلِيسِ الصَّالِحِ وَالْجَلِيسِ السَّوْءِ كَمَثَلِ صَاحِبِ الْمِسْكِ، وَكِيرِ الْحَدَّادِ، لاَ يَعْدَمُكَ مِنْ صَاحِبِ الْمسْكِ إِمَّا تَشْتَرِيهِ، أَوْ تَجِدُ رِيحَهُ، وَكِيرُ الْحَدَّادِ يُحْرِقُ بَدَنَكَ أَوْ ثَوْبَكَ أَوْ تَجِدُ مِنْهُ رِيحًا خَبِيثَةً ".
There is also a very popular Arabic saying that states:
الصاحب ساحب
This translates into: a friend is someone who can pull you towards good or bad.
Choose your friends wisely. The teenage years are not going to be easy, but having the right friends will make life run a little more smoothly. Evaluate your friendships and decide which ones are worth keeping and which ones you need to let go off.
If you are looking for a true and loving friend, look no further than your mother. Here is a hadith about mothers being the best companionship.
What are some characteristics you think a good friend should have? Feel free to let us know your thoughts below.