4th Year PhD Candidate
My Fourth (and Hopefully Last) Year in the PhD Program
Last year, I reminisced over my third year in the PhD program and wrote about my journey so far. Now, it seems fitting that I keep up with my streak and write about my fourth and hopefully last year in the PhD program. Let’s backtrack to Spring 2025, which was still technically part of my third year.
Spring 2025
It feels like it’s been such a long time because I genuinely don’t remember what classes I took during this semester. I had to go back to my schedule to see which classes I took and saw that I took a teaching course, a research class, and an elective. Taking nine credits was rough. It felt like the assignments were just piling one after the other with no break. Spring 2025 also happened to be when Ramadan occurred.
Ramadan 2025
Let’s talk about Ramadan.
When entering the PhD program, I thought about everything and made sure I had all my affairs lined up. My kids had a sitter, a backup sitter, and even a plan C sitter just in case. I had my transportation and finances figured out. However, I never thought about Ramadan and what it would be like to observe it while taking classes.
The first couple of years, Ramadan happened so close to the end of the semester that it wasn’t such a big deal. Most of my assignments were done and I had no presentations. However, this Ramadan was different. This Ramadan came just a few weeks after the semester started. I had assignments, presentations, and so much more. It was exhausting.
Fasting for 14 hours and then trying to have any amount of focus or energy during lectures is near impossible. I remember one specific night where I didn’t sleep well, hadn’t woken up for my suhoor (meal before dawn), and just had an overall rough day. When I arrived in class, I tried very hard to focus and listen to the lecture. However, what I did not know was possible happened: I fell asleep while sitting in my chair with my eyes open.
I could not stay awake, no matter how hard I tried. I was jolted awake when I heard the professor call my name and realized it was my turn to present my project. That did not go well at all. All I could think about was when I could have my sip of coffee and bite of dates. Nothing else mattered in that moment. It was rough, really rough.
Thankfully, this Ramadan 2026, I will be at home, enjoying my iftar (breaking of the fast) with my family. This will be the first Ramadan in three years where I don’t have night classes or any classes for that matter.
Back to Spring 2025: aside from struggling through Ramadan, it was an overall great semester.
Summer 2025
I decided that I wanted to take my comprehensive exam by the end of the summer or, at the latest, the beginning of Fall 2025. Thus, I spent the entire summer working on my exam. I have a very blurry recollection of the summer because 90% of it was spent on my computer working on my comprehensive exam. I did not sleep much during those three months, was irritable, grumpy, and overall stressed.
It was worth it, though, because I successfully passed my exam at the end of the summer.
Fall 2025
My next goal was finishing my last two classes and proposing my dissertation. Instead of giving myself some time, I decided to keep pushing. Isn’t that what a PhD program is about? Pushing ourselves beyond our limits.
That’s exactly what I did, and I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it. It was an incredibly stressful period that didn’t have to be quite so overwhelming. Still, I completed my last two classes and successfully proposed my dissertation.
I felt so many emotions, but above all, I felt relief, deep relief. I was especially relieved to no longer have night classes. Those evenings took a significant toll on both my family and me. Afterward, I took a well-deserved trip to celebrate this milestone.
Spring 2026
My last semester.
Four years ago, I began this journey, and now it’s coming to an end. When I started the PhD program, my youngest child was just five months old. He’s about to turn four. My other three children have grown so much during these four years as well.
Watching them experience this journey alongside me and witness the outcome has been the greatest gift. There were many moments when I wanted to give up and many times when it would have been easier to walk away, but I wanted this so much. I also wanted to show my children that with hard work and perseverance, they can achieve what they set their hearts and minds on.
In April 2026, I will be defending my dissertation, and in May, I will graduate. I will graduate as the first PhD holder in my family. Not the first woman, but the first person.
While that is a meaningful accomplishment, it’s not why I did this. I did this for me. Ten years ago, I knew I wanted this. Ten years ago, I promised myself I would achieve it and I did.
